A spine-chilling answer to the prayer of a very sinful man

11 days that will transform you life
A pilgrimage on dusty roads  through spectacular landscapes. The sun paints artistic shades on sandstone mountainsides. The wind carries a strange freshness in the air. The Maluti mountains boast their splendour. The African soil under your feet reminds of a journey deep within.
Let your heart and mind find its resting place in God. Read more

I messed up my life in such a way that I felt couldn’t even look up to God to pray any more. Feelings of guilt, shame and despair were my constant companions.

I prayed to the Lord, saying that I felt far away from Him.

I felt like a donkey only worthy to be far off and outside.

God spoke into my heart and reminded me that He once used a donkey to speak. It is in the bible, where Balaam’s donkey spoke. If God could use a donkey to speak, He could use me too. That gave me some encouragement.

I restarted my training for a very long prayer-walk. At that time I also asked the Lord to open my eyes to see into the spiritual realm … like Elisha’s servant who couldn’t see why Elisha was not afraid of the huge army around his home. They were sent to fetch Elisha (A whole army sent to fetch ONE of God’s children). Now he had something to be afraid of … but yet he said to his servant: There are more with us than with them. It was just the two of them, and the huge army surrounding them. And Elisha prayed, “O LORD, open his eyes so he may see.” God opened his eyes, and he saw the hills all around were full of horses and chariots of fire.

One morning during peak-time traffic I was training alongside a very busy road. As I was walking, I just prayed for the people who were passing by in the traffic. The pavement was well maintained and had a pedestrian walkway close to the side of the road. On my left, coming towards me was the morning peak time traffic, three lanes full of cars, long queues moving towards the city centre. To my right were trees, grass, a parking area and some business premises.

Although I was praying, I was still struggling to come to terms with God’s forgiveness and really struggled with my self-worth before the Lord. I knew I broke His heart and was sincere in wanting to get back into right relationship with Him. I have asked for His forgiveness and yearned to come into an intimate relationship with Father God again.

And so I walked and prayed … and suddenly – without any warning … unannounced … I caught sight of a movement to my left. For a glorious moment I saw in the spiritual realm.

I saw a line of figures in bright white clothes walking alongside me. They were huge and walked with long and powerful strides. One of them, was a little bit ahead … He had a flaming shield. Everything was so bright and even the flames on the shield were white. I was overwhelmed.

It was just for a moment – a moment too big for me to handle. I had to stop to catch my breath. I turned off the walkway, sat down and just thanked God for showing me that He saw in me someone worthy for Him to send His angels to march with me.

I was just pondering how Almighty God would in fact use me – despite all my mistakes and my sinful past …

I literally had to wait for my knees to stop shaking so I could get up to walk again.

I stood up and got back onto the walkway. A weird thing had happened; it was still peak time traffic – but the road was empty and eerily quiet.

In the distance a single car was coming …

As it came closer I noticed it had a personalised number plate: 4-GIVEN


Already overwhelmed, this had me speechless …

My Heavenly Father just spoke to me personally with one word on that number plate: “FORGIVEN”

After this car passed me, I saw in the distance a truck turning into the road …

As it came closer I noticed it also had a personalised number plate: 2 RE-USE


Overwhelmed and speechless, this had me in awe …

My Heavenly Father just spoke to me personally with two words on that number plate: “TO RE-USE”

We serve a loving God mercy and of second chances! That was not my first “second chance”. A God who forgives and has grace to trust us again.

Dear reader as you read this, I want to encourage you that you too can be forgiven and re-used. I have done many things which weren’t right at all. I have been at a place where I didn’t even want to take courage to look God in the eyes.

But Father God is gracious. He is kind. He is forgiving enough to listen to your plea. Repent of your sin, and ask Him to forgive you. He can forgive and re-use you too.

Lord Jesus,

I have sinned against You. This is what I have done (now is a good time to acknowledge to Him what you did wrong – even though He knows it already)

Lord I choose to stop and not do that again.

Please forgive me.

I give You first place in my life right now.

… Amen

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